By Denise M. Brown

In caregiving, you may feel that you regularly wear a game face. You may put on a game face when you and your caree hear difficult news during a doctor’s appointment. You may wear a game face on those bad days when the requests for your help just won’t stop. And, your game face comes out during the unpleasant moments during personal care.

Your game face helps you cope with upsetting moments, unpleasant tasks and difficult days. But with so much energy put into playing, how do you stay in the game?

Take off your game face to have a private moment to allow the tears, to consider who else can help manage unpleasant tasks and to vent about a day you hope to never repeat. And, once in awhile, bench yourself. It’s okay to have substitutes take your place on the field.

The game of caregiving is a game of overtimes. To make it to the final buzzer, be on with time off. Put on your game face, then unwind by taking it off. Play on the field, then catch your breath by getting off the field to the bench. That’s how you win the game of caregiving.

Resources

• Do you love our comforts? Then, you’ll love Take Comfort, Too, More Reflections of Hope for Caregivers. In Take Comfort, Too, Denise M. Brown takes 108 words—including Parade, Green, Red and Glory—and then turns each into a reflection. The reflections focus on a family caregiver’s reality, sprinkled with hope. Denise’s insights about the caregiving experience feel like a warm hug, a helpful smile and an encouraging nudge. You can save 15% when you order Take Comfort, Too; use coupon code FIRESIDE305 at check-out. Order here.

• Our next free webinar is “Surviving Caregiving: The Power of Acceptance” on February 16th at 11:00am Central (Noon ET, 9 a.m. PT). How do you survive caregiving? A key component is acceptance. And, that’s easier said than done. There’s so much to accept in caregiving–how is it possible? How in the world can it really help? In “Surviving Caregiving: The Power of Acceptance,” Denise will share ways to move to acceptance so that caregiving seems doable rather than just plain awful. At the end of the 45-minute presentation, you’ll have a plan in place to accept. To attend this webinar, visit: http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=17505084 on February 16 at 11:00 a.m. Central (Noon ET, 9 a.m. PT). Can’t attend? We’ll post a recording of the webinar on the website on February 17.

This week, our bloggers posted the following updates:

• Bette wondered why a decline is so fast;
• Jo shared tips on how to make the most of a transition to a facility;
  
• Judith enjoyed her date night;
  
• Karen wrote about a common life;
• Kathy wrote about Hubby's falls, which keep her down;
• Meryl updated us on her difficult decision;
  
• The Unit Known as Shandi shared her week's good news.
  

In building the list for my Journey of 50 Lunches, I included people who have impacted my life by noticing who I repeatedly quote. Think about it…is there someone(s) who imparted wisdom as he/she crossed your life’s path? Wisdom that still resonates within your head and in your life?

In my life, it was Keith Moore, aka My Best Boss. Even though it has been almost three decades since I worked for Keith, I still quote some life teachings he shared. One, in particular, was…”I may be just a good father, but I’m a great husband. The best thing I can do for my kids is love, respect and be a great partner to their mother.” The wisdom is obvious to me…a family is strongest when it’s foundation is built on a strong marriage. Keith’s sage advice truly had a lasting impact on me…just one reason he is on my journey of gratitude.

So, who do you quote?

Share here.

• Thursday, February 10, 11:30 a.m. CT (12:30 p.m. ET, 9:30 a.m. PT): Care of Professional Caregivers: They arrive and then you leave: The professional caregivers who step into your shoes so you can work or get a break. You depend on them, but do you manage them well? Even if the professionals works for a home care agency, they'll need your guidance. And, if they work directly for you, they'll need your management. Cindy Laverty, who cared for her former father-in-law and author of "Caregiving: Eldercare Made Clear and Simple," joins us to discuss managing your team of professional caregivers.
  
  
• Saturday, February 12, 9 a.m. CT (10 a.m. ET, 7 a.m. PT): The Sadness of Caregiving: Holly, who cares for her husband and blogs on Caregiving.com, will talk about sadness and how she manages it.

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” ~ Allen Saunders

Certainly, caregiving changed your life plans. It also demands planning and scheduling. And, then, when bad weather or flu or another emergency gets in the way, it demands a Plan B (and sometimes a Plan C and D).

In this week’s poll, sponsored by Caregiving.com and eCareDiary.com, we ask: Do you have a caregiving back-up plan? After voting, please feel free to share additional thoughts and any back-up plans you have in our comments section.

Vote and share here.

Resources

• We’ve got articles to help you create back-up plans here.

We read great books with a slant toward caregiving. When possible, the book’s author joins our discussion. You can purchase our book club picks in our store.

In March, we’re reading “The Long Hello ~ The Other Side of Alzheimer’s” by Cathie Borrie. Cathie will join us on Your Caregiving Journey to discuss her book on Thursday, March 31 at 2 p.m. CT (3 p.m. ET).

In April, we’re reading “Miraculous Moments: True Stories Affirming That Life Goes On” by Elissa Al-Chokhachy. Elissa will join us on Your Caregiving Journey to discuss her book on Tuesday, April 26 at 2 p.m. CT (3 p.m. ET).