Tuesday on Your Caregiving Journey, we began our special series on forgiveness. Rick Lauber, author of “Caregiver’s Guide for Canadians” and former caregiver for his father with Alzheimer’s disease, joined us to share how an unexpected discovery helped heal his relationship with his father. You can listen to our show via the player below.

During our discussion, Rick offered his definition of forgiveness: It’s an understanding and an acceptance, he said. I love that definition because it’s absent of judgments and assumptions.

So, I’d love to know: When did forgiving someone (or yourself) lead to a greater understanding of another (or yourself)? Please share here.

(Do you have a story of forgiveness? I’d love for you to join me on Your Caregiving Journey to share your story. Just email me.)

This week, our bloggers posted the following updates:

• Bette had a rough weekend;
• Jo shared a video that featured ten glorious seconds;
  
• Judith gave an update from her get-away;
  
• Kathy got caught off guard;
• Trish introduced us to a new holiday, March Day;
• The Unit Known as Shandi felt defeated.

In March, our Caregiving Happiness Project action word is Learn. So, I’ve decided that this month I’m going to learn something about new and old friends alike.

I started thinking about friends here—all the visitors who stop by Caregiving.com. I know something about you—that caregiving affects your life. Today, though, I’d love to know more. I’d love to know something about you that I don’t know. It could be a fact, a story, an interest, an accomplishment, an achievement, a goal you’re working toward. It could be something relating to your caregiving role. Or not.

Please share something I don’t know about you that you’d love for me to know here. I’m looking forward to learning about you!

The New York Times published an interesting article on Monday (“Go Easy on Yourself, A New Wave of Research Shows”). Author Tara Parker-Pope writes that we need more self-compassion, not discipline and will power:

“…Research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.”

In other words, beating ourselves up really does beat us down. When we accept that we are perfect in our imperfections, we actually make better choices.

About three years ago, I beat myself up about a set of circumstances in my life. Over a period of six months, I gained about 30 pounds. A visit to the doctor and a look at my numbers put me back on course with exercise and eating right. About a year ago, I allowed myself to see the situation in a different light; I let myself off the hook. Without trying, I lost more weight. Now, when I think about that situation, I am quite proud of what I said and did. I tell myself, During a really awkward and painful time, you were awesome.

So, I declared Tuesday to be “Free Yourself from the Hook” Day, a day about saying you are okay (even great). It’s about living with kindness and compassion for yourself every day.

Did you miss "Free Yourself from the Hook"? It's never too late. Please tell us how you’ll let yourself off the hook here.

The hook constrains you, keeps you down. Life is so much easier when you give yourself the room the live it.

Caregiving seems to steal your power, leaving you powerless over your days and your life. By accepting caregiving, you can move from losing to gaining, which is how your find your power.

In our four-week class, "Accepting Caregiving and Finding Your Power," we’ll help you gain peace, a plan, preparation, priorities, perspective and prosperity. Those six Ps add up to your Power.

You can participate in our class by joining our live class or listening to the recording at your convenience. Our live class will take place every Monday in March at 3 p.m. CT (4 p.m. ET, 1 p.m. PT). When you register, you’ll receive details on how to join the live and access the recordings.

By Denise M. Brown

It’s always tough to take a tumble.

Sometimes, though, a fall is just what we need.

Or, rather, what happens after the fall is just what we need. We get up. We wipe off our butts. We tell everyone that we are okay.

We survive the fall.

We fear the fall, believing the wipe-out will wipe us out. So, we tread lightly through life; we avoid taking a chance, stepping out on a limb, breaking out of our comfort zone. The light treading doesn’t prevent the fall, though. And, sometimes, the light treading causes a greater fall.

Take a chance. Step out on a limb. Break out of your comfort zone. You may fail (fall). That’s okay. Know that you have the means to get up after every fall. You may fall (have a terrible day, hear awful news, feel heartbreak). You also will recover (have a better day, find your bearings, experience joy).

You will fall. More important, you will always get back up.

Resources

• Do you love our comforts? Then, you’ll love Take Comfort, Too, More Reflections of Hope for Caregivers. In Take Comfort, Too, Denise M. Brown takes 108 words—including Parade, Green, Red and Glory—and then turns each into a reflection. The reflections focus on a family caregiver’s reality, sprinkled with hope. Denise’s insights about the caregiving experience feel like a warm hug, a helpful smile and an encouraging nudge. Order here.

• Listen to Caregiving Comforts here.

• Thursday, March 3, 11:30 a.m. CT (12:30 p.m., 9:30 a.m. PT): The Health of Generosity: Ellen Rogin, our wealthness expert, joins us to talk about acts of generosity and their positive impact on our lives.
  
• Saturday, March, 5 p.m. CT (2 p.m. ET, 11 a.m. PT): Table Talk: Judith: Judith, a Caregiving.com blogger who cares for her husband, joins us to share her love story with Nelson.
  

We read great books with a slant toward caregiving. When possible, the book’s author joins our discussion. You can purchase our book club picks in our store.

In March, we’re reading “The Long Hello ~ The Other Side of Alzheimer’s” by Cathie Borrie. Cathie will join us on Your Caregiving Journey to discuss her book on Thursday, March 31 at 2 p.m. CT (3 p.m. ET).

In April, we’re reading “Miraculous Moments: True Stories Affirming That Life Goes On” by Elissa Al-Chokhachy. Elissa will join us on Your Caregiving Journey to discuss her book on Tuesday, April 26 at 2 p.m. CT (3 p.m. ET).