Welcome to June.
How is your heart as the summer begins to heat up in the Northern Hemisphere?
I have just left the beauty of the Southern Hemisphere as the mornings and evenings turn cooler.
I am learning to readjust to Portland life after three months in Zimbabwe. Reconnecting to routine, our home, and the summer schedule that unfolds as our children are let out of school. Our time away has filled me with so much more than what I had expected. I’m full of new friendships, a new scholarship program for women in Zimbabwe, and artists that I want to continue to work with moving forward. I’m full of memories from the city, stories from the land. I’m full of garden walks, and talks of great loss. I’m carrying other peoples children in my heart, and a new desire to serve. I’m both happy to be home, and sad to have left a country I fell in love with. I’m also full to the brim from visiting four new countries, many that I want to travel back too. And awaiting more travel adventures this month and in the months ahead.
I’ve carried these words from Strindberg’s, A Dream Play, with me in my pocket for the last month. They resonate with me on what it means to arrive and what it means to leave behind:
So this is what it’s like to be human . . .
One misses even what one has not valued
One regrets even what one has not broken . . .
One wants to walk away, one wants to stay . . .
June is a time of rising for me. Rising with the heat of the sun. Rising into the full months of summer. June is also my birth month, a time of cancer. When the crabs like me, venture out of our shells. It is a time of aging for me, when I reflect on who I am and who I have become. It is a time of remembering my mother and the birth she had delivering me into this world.
I was born at Kaiser Hospital in Santa Monica, California. Moments before I was born my mother drank an entire pitcher of fresh squeezed lemonade that my dad made when my mother was in the midst of excruciating labor. She downed the entire thermos before the doctor could stop her. My mother bore me without an anesthesia, something she soon, regretted, but carried on nonetheless. She told me that she counted my ten toes, ten fingers, looked into my eyes and then handed me to my father to rest.
One of my daughters, Margot, was born in June. She is my first born and I remember birthing her thinking about my mothers strength. If she could do it without anesthesia, so could I. It also helps that I am incredibly stubborn, much like my daughters too.
So June, the month of rising from within, and rising to meet the outside world.
Daily Practice-
One of my favorite teachers is Pema Chodron. I discovered her almost thirteen years ago when I was going through one of my first yoga teacher trainings. Her voice was playing in the Kripalu Bookstore many years ago and it stopped me in my tracks. I walked swiftly into the store and purchased every book and cd I could find written and recorded by her.
I’ve always loved this daily practice, simple and profound in it’s nature. Take a moment (or twenty three!) and tilt your head towards the sun. A simple practice of looking up. Of feeling the light on your face, of feeling the darkness dissipate.
I do this most days, I talk about it with my children. My girls, talk about the shape of clouds and where the sun is trying to wiggle it’s way through. For me, this practice has become a gentle reminder that the light is always trying to get through. No matter how hard or difficult our current situations may be. The light is looking to find you.
Monthly Essential Oil-
Lemon. This month I’m all about lemon. Diffusing it in my home during the morning madness. Rubbing it on my chest as I prepare for a busy day. I’m also carrying it in my bag and adding a few drops to my water when I’m feeling rushed.
Lemon is awakening and refreshing. It is also known to cleanse the soul, to rid ourselves of stagnant energy. It’s fresh smell can soften the heart and ignite the senses. Try using lemon in your bath water or add it to your favorite drink.
Gatherings-
This month I’m spending time prepping for my upcoming festivals/ retreats:
- Pickathon Music Festival Portland, Oregon August 1-4 ( Wellness Lead)
- Vibrant Living in Lucca, Italy with Julie Jeske September 7-14
- Be Love/D in Portland, Oregon with Atieno Bird October 11-14
I’m reading past loved books, discovering new ones, creating potions (aka essential oil mixes) to gift to participants, making bath salts with my girls, and writing about creating balance, daily creative practices, and the power of gratitude.
All of these teachings I offer on retreats.
These two retreats focus on a week and a weekend retreat for anyone who identifies as female. I use to think that retreats were a luxury, now I find that they are a regular practice of self care for myself and those that attend. Spending time connecting on retreats allows me the time to reflect, to pause, and to consider how I want to move more deeply into my life. When we prioritize ourselves, we are able to give more fully to those around us. Retreat settings offer the individual an opportunity to take inventory on the life you are living. Time spent in circle allows us the space to reflect, be heard, and be held by a group.
My hope is that retreats are not a place to escape from your life, but a place to connect more to yourself and to the life you dream of living. I offer discounts and monthly payment plans for all of my retreats. If you are hoping to join me and these other wonderful women this year, pleas reach out.
I believe in circles, they are a powerful place to heal and feel together. At my October 2018 retreat with Atieno Bird, I wrote this poem, this is the first time I have shared it.
May you hold it gently in your heart-
Sitting in circle- the place of safety and ultimate vulnerability.
What will I release? What will be called forth?
To bear witness to pain, joy, sorrow, grief, and love.
To see ourselves in each other.
To listen without judgement.
To hold each other accountable.
To honor our ancestors in bird calls.
To believe in our words and promises.
To ask for change.
To give each other time and space.
Circle. It neither begins nor ends
Each breath an opportunity to start over.
A Blessing for You-
My hope for you this month is that you might feel the heat of the sun on your heart. That you might listen to your heart and speak the words you are afraid to say. Or reach out to someone you have pushed away. June is a time of rising for me, a time of remembering, and embracing. It is a time to feel the heat of the sun on your face, and an opportunity to look up into the sun.
I hope you will join me at one of my upcoming gatherings to share in the heat of the sun.
Two Hands Together,
Nikki
