Welcome to December.
How is your heart as we begin to close out 2019? 
For much of this year, I’ve had to stop and pause to reconsider what year we are in.
I often find myself saying good morning, instead of good afternoon to people I pass on the street. A sure sign that I’m moving quickly, maybe too quickly somedays.
Some days I perfect the art of transitions from mom to teacher to actor to facilitator to student to partner to dog walker. Other days I flop. This past week I was at a party and when I walked in someone turned to me and said, “Nikki, I’m surprised you are in this country!” To which I responded, “Wait, where am I again?”
This year has felt like the best kind of whirlwind. My best friend and her family lived with us for almost three months at the beginning of the year. Then my family and I moved to Zimbabwe for three months where I met the kindest people while working in theatre and learning about the country. And then, we were back in Portland closing out the school year and moving into summer.
2019 has been full, I’ll close out this little newsletter with some of my highlights from this year, but for now, let’s stay in it.
2019 also took me deeper into prison, into a women’s medium security facility, where I continue to work and share and learn and rise and flop weekly. I began teaching a class in February of this year called, Theatre and Poetry, an exploration into language. How language changes us, moves through us, and sometimes, someone else’s words can convey the thing we struggle to speak ourselves.
My mother worked in a maximum security men’s prison teaching literature and drama when I was growing up. So maybe you could say, I was finding my circle as I came to this line of work. I certainly feel her presence on the inside when I sit in circle with these women that I have the joy of sharing with weekly.
As I have sat for countless evenings, encouraging each of these women to reveal small and large parts of themselves. I have begun to remember more of who I am. 
A few years ago I learnt about how my grandfather had taken his life on a balcony in Germany, only for his young family to discover his body after they had heard the gunshot. My father was the oldest child and at ten became the man of the house, as he later described it to me. My mother died when I was ten, quite suddenly after being misdiagnosed, and I left the United States (or the “excited states”, as my stepmother calls them) ten days after her death with two suitcases in tow. For my father and I to both have lost a parent at ten was intriguing to me, sad maybe, coincidental maybe.
There are a few years directly after my mothers death that I struggle to remember. I can't tell you anything about them, but I've spent time interviewing people who knew me at this age to try and uncover my memories from this time.
I actually kept my mothers box of ashes in my basement for many years until I was ready to hold her ashes in my hands. Only then did I believe that I could truly release her. And yet, she is still here with me now. Behind my eyes, in my children, and in the pieces of her that I wear and have in my home.
My story is one that I am still connecting, but it continues to gift me great understanding for who I have become.
I have more empathy for my father, and less blame for who he is and how our relationship has unfolded. I have more patience for myself when I forget to do things. 
I carry less. Just that. I carry less wherever I go.
I’ve learnt that in sitting with women in prison, we share not just in the moment, but we share the essence of who we are when we dare to remember our stories.
And if we are truly able to reveal, like I am, here with you now, then our healing continues on. 
This past week, as I shared another recent story about a hardship I was facing. A woman who is serving time for life looked across the circle and said, “Nikki, people will always dump hate on you. Your job is not to listen to it.” 
Her perspective was a huge gift to me in that moment. I believe she knew it too.
These days I’m sitting with more stories as I prepare the women on the inside to share their stories in front of a public audience at the end of December. Each time we sit, listen, reveal, and heal together. I leave a little fuller, and I carry these women around in my heart for the rest of the week until we meet again.
Daily Practice-
Change is in the air. My yoga studio, Portland Ashtanga Yoga, is closing at the end of the year. My teacher, Jason Stein, is taking a job as a firefighter. He will do us all proud here in Portland. And with that change, comes my own movement change. Thanks to a dear friend, I’ve gotten hooked on Barre 3 classes. Check them out here: Barre3
You can do these workouts at a studio, online, or make up your own. Between morning runs, walks with our dogs, and biking with my two girls and husband, I’m finding these workouts so fun.
Monthly Oil Blends-
As we roll into the holidays, I’m all about this Joy Blend: JOY
 and Peace Blend: PEACE
 from DoTerra. I’ve got Joy going in my kitchen and Peace in my girls bedroom at night. Between the mix of cinnamon, spruce, and the woodsy vibe. I’m loving all the smells these days.
You can order any of these blends from me here for a discount: get me some of these oils
At this time of year many people begin to think about New Years resolutions. Why? If you have an answer, I’d love to hear it, really.
Resolution has always felt like an apology or something that needs to be mended or fixed. I prefer the word intention, or magic, or creation.
Back in 2013 I started writing down a few words every year that I would cultivate in my life. In 2013, I wrote: clearing, artistry, social change, and 30-5-1 (my age-can’t remember what the 5 was for-my oldest daughters age at the time).
In 2015, I wrote: presence, process, productive, create, and uncomfortable. 
Then I spent a full year manifesting my words, I would go back to them, talk to them, ask friends questions about them, and share them with my circle.
In 2019, I wrote: abundant journeys and courage. And let me tell you, I’ve had some MAJOR journeys this year (internal and external), but totally intentional and all of them required a sense of courage. 
I’m still dreaming about 2020. What about you? What will you create in 2020?
Come close out the year with me at one of my last couple public classes in December. Or join me and Karen Pride in February for our weekend retreat (3rd year!) this time right here on the Oregon Coast.
OR, hop on a plane and meet me in Italy with Julie Jeske for a week of goodness. More details below about all of these, and on my web page.
If you don’t know me personally, you can expect to laugh a lot, share stories from you life, create vision for the future, eat really, really well, and I probably will invite you on some early morning runs:) Come play, come discover with me, and meet yourself where you are at. We will learn and love together on this wild mess of life. Please reach out directly if you have questions about any of my retreat offerings, I personally respond to all inquiries.
Community Yoga Classes at the Portland Playhouse are back! Classes are $10 for a drop in, and free to artists currently working at the Playhouse.These classes support the Education programs at Portland Playhouse, so feel good and give back to our community at the same time.
No one will be turned away for lack of funds or experience, classes are open to all levels- yoga, music, meditation, rest, and essential oils. Bring your own mat, please. Mark your calendars and come play, move, and breathe together. Bring a friend and walk to coffee with us afterwards.
My hope is that these classes will build community, connection, and balance in our lives. Please help spread the word to your family and friends! Then go for coffee or brunch after class, or the farmers market just two blocks away.
Community Yoga on Saturday and Sunday mornings 9-10:30am
$10 suggested donation fee. No one turned away.
Saturday December 14
Sunday December 15
Wild at Heart with your co-hosts, Karen and Nikki
February 14-17 2020
Arch Cape, Oregon
$850 p/person, $200 reserves your spot. To pay, Venmo: @Nikki-Weaver
*limited to 14 women.
Join your Wild at Heart co-leaders Nikki and Karen for a creative weekend built to ignite the senses, stir up your passions, and encourage community. This is the 3rd year in a row we have created a weekend together. We enjoy creating community, sharing our passions, and beautifying our world with food, movement, conversation, and art making practices.
With us, you'll enjoy morning yoga, daily delicious meals (mostly made by Karen), an energizing creative flow taught by Karen (while Nikki cooks), massage and reiki sessions with Nikki, handmade pottery by Karen, afternoon creative practices,essential oils, structured conversations to fuel creative fire in your life, and evening singalongs with special guests.
Our weekend begins on Friday evening with dinner and sharing, and ends on Monday morning after yoga and breakfast. All rooms are shared. So grab a friend and spread the love, or cozy up with a stranger. Open to all levels of life experience.
- All Meals
-Daily Yoga
-Creative Conversations and Practices 
-Handmade bath salts
-15min massage/reiki session with Nikki
Add on's:
-Purchase individual pieces of Karen's pottery
-Increase your massage/reiki time with Nikki 
-Buy essential oils to take home

Vibrant Living Lucca, Italy, 2020

Dates: September 5-12 2020
Price: $3000 private bathroom or $2700 shared bathroom
*$250 reserves your spot. 
*limited to 18 women.
Join us as we spend a week in the countryside of Lucca, Italy this next Fall together. After our first trip to Lucca this past year, ew fell in love with the country and this special town. I even got a puppy when I returned and named her Lucca to remember our time here:)
Julie and I first met while pregnant. We ate ice cream and talked about love, lose and death in just a few breaths. This began our deep friendship, our attraction to the unknown and our curiosity for pleasure and presence in our lives.
With us, you’ll get a week of learning about daily practices and ritual to enrich your life. You’ll recharge your spirit and your heart. With us, you’ll also most likely, laugh and cry. We love to do both, sometimes at the same time.
Our week begins with dinner together on Saturday evening and ends with breakfast on Saturday morning. Throughout the week we will gather daily for yoga in the early morning, deep conversations led by Julie where we will explore: intimacy, boundaries, pleasure, and boundaries. In between, we will take day trips to a local female-led winery, an optional bike tour around the city wall of Lucca, a day trip to Cinque Terre or Florence, and a. Group cooking class with our resident chef.
A typical day is as follows-
7-8:30am yoga with Nikki
8:30-9:30am breakfast
10:30-12:30pm morning session with Julie
1-2pm lunch
2-5pm free time
5-6:30pm afternoon session with Nikki and Julie
7-8pm dinner
-Seven nights accommodation in our private vila
-All meals at the villa, 3 meals a day, plus snacks.
-Nightly local wine at dinner.
-Use of the pool
-Winery tour and lunch
-Group cooking class
-A day in Cinque Terre or Florence
Add’s on:
-Taxi’s to and from the villa.
-Massage at the villa.
-One lunch and one group dinner.
-Optional bike and food tour of Lucca.
Highlights from 2019 that will keep me going forward-
  1. Zimbabwe, Botswana, South Africa, Zambia, and everything in between. I will be back that’s for sure.
  2. Puerto Rico over my birthday with my dear friend, Karen, and the tiny plane we rode on. I smiled real big that day:)
  3. Crying while watching the new Dumbo with my girls. I will always believe in magic.
  4. My friend, Matthew, who visits me often, makes me laugh, challenges me, and dreams with me.
  5. Raising my children alongside my best friend and her children, in the US and in Croatia this year.
  6. Italy with a co-host I adore, Julie, and friends that are family.
So many moments. May you collect them. Savor them. And count your blessings twice.
Grateful for your continued presence here,
Wild at Heart
Co-led with Karen Pride
February 14th-17, 2020
Arch Cape, OR

Join your Wild at Heart co-leaders Nikki and Karen for a creative weekend built to ignite the senses, stir up your passions, and encourage community. This is the 3rd year in a row we have created a weekend together. We enjoy creating community, sharing our passions, and beautifying our world with food, movement, conversation, and art making practices.

Click Here for more info and to save your spot!
*Limited to 14 women*
Vibrant Living
Co-led with Julie Jeske
September 5th-12th, 2020
Lucca, Italy

A week in Lucca, Italy with Julie Jeske and Nikki with daily yoga, deep conversations, delicious food and day excursions.

Click Here for more info and to join us!
Limited to 18 women*
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