Welcome to May. 

 

On the last day of April my husband and I found ourselves driving across a large part of Zimbabwe. On a long stretch of road we found ourselves talking about therapy. The kinds of therapy each of us had had, and the kinds of therapy we each chose for ourselves. We tried to define the word therapy, here was my definition: any modality that brings healing to the body, mind, or spirit. 

 

My introduction to therapy was always talk therapy. My first experience of this was as a young child when my dad left my mother and I for the woman he was having an affair with. I think my mom’s counselor suggested I attend some of her sessions. I remember watching, mostly listening and wondering how you found a counselor.

My second experience was when my mother died, more talk therapy. I barely talked to my family and friends about my mom so it was odd to me that this woman sitting across from me thought I would talk to her. I didn’t say much. My third experience was when my best friend in school committed suicide at our friends house. The grief counselors swooped in like bees to accommodate a large group of young girls who were grieving. Again, talk therapy, and again, this experience isolated me further from actually feeling or connecting to my grief. My fourth experience was around my eating disorders. By this point, I was exhausted by talk therapy, and angry and frustrated. I remember staring at this one counselor and challenging her with my eyes and my silence. I finally said, “I can’t believe my dad is paying you for me to sit here. Would you take his money if I sat here for an hour and said nothing?” After this session, I refused to see her again. She later sent me a card in the mail that I never responded too.

 

It was around this time that I had started running competitively. I was lean, but constantly felt heavier than the other women I was racing against. As I battled my own inner demons with weight, and my outer image with appearance, I struggled to connect the voices in my head with my outer image. I was dating an identical twin who whipped me around Sydney on the back of his motorbike. I loved him and his family. One day we blazed into Centennial Park to partake in a yoga class taught by his mother. I snickered at the idea, but thought, ah what the hell.

 

This class changed everything for me.

 

The class was taught outside on the grass with maybe six other attendees. My boyfriend was an intense surfer, and I, an intense runner, so yoga seems like an old lady sport to me. My boyfriend had talked to me about what his mother did but I hadn’t ever really understood until now. Within a few minutes we were laying on our backs feeling the breeze around us, then listening inward to our hearts, and outwards to the environment. Soon we were on all fours bending and lifting and moving. Then on our feet, balancing and strengthening parts of my body I was familiar with and totally unfamiliar with. In many moments I felt as though she was talking only to me. I was able to cry and laugh and move without feeling seen, instead I felt held, personally and professionally. I left that class with my boyfriend feeling high, high on life, and blissed out. 

 

I slowly began my own journey with yoga, with this teacher, and then later with more teachers. A lot of times I would hide in the back feeling incapable. Slowly though, yoga became my journey towards healing, complemented with running. Yoga brought me clarity and space of mine, running brought me endorphins and great friends. Yoga showed me balance, running showed me perseverance. Throughout my many years of practicing yoga I have allowed my practice to change. I’ve shifted from practicing, to teaching, to retreat leading, to practitioner, and round and round I will go. 

 

Yoga, like life, changes you. For me, my practice has been a bedrock, a foundation, to come back to when I need it. It travels well with me, sits in my back pocket, and reminds me to be present when all I want to do is run.

 

 

Teachings from the field-

 

This month I spent time with Peter Gava in Hwange National Park, on safari with my family. We spent 8-10 hours a day searching for animals and watching the sky change. One thing I noticed over and over again was ego. How animals must bolster their egos to survive or drop them to submit to larger prey. I then started to think about how all teams of people that work together should spend time in nature together. What I noticed was how animals had to work together to find food and water. They shared resources, talked to each other, or fought each other. It made me want to find more ways to communicate with my own teams of friends and families. Just as talk therapy has been one thing for me, movement therapy has awoken me to new ways of being. If we could spend more time together, watching, witnessing, and being with other ways of life, then maybe we might seek to understand each other better. Maybe then we would learn to put our egos aside, and throw our hearts on the line. 

 

Upcoming Retreats-

 

Vibrant Living in Lucca, Italy with Julie Jeske, September 7-14. Daily yoga and movement practices, cooking classes, deep conversations, and hearty belly laughs. All women, all the time. Local wine, daily outings, home cooked meals, pool time surrounded by a vineyard. We have room for just a couple more. Email if you would like to join this kickass group of 11 women traveling together!

 

Be Love/D in Portland, Oregon with Atieno Bird, October 11-14. A weekend of daily yoga, two theatre outings, happy hour/dinner, an intimate singer-songwriter gathering, sound bath and a soak/sauna treatment. Plenty of room to join us!

 

 

Essential Oils-

 

This month I’m all about: Balance, my most favorite of the DoTerra blends currently. 

I actually use this oil daily on my sternum and behind my ears. I put it on first thing in the morning and in the evening if I’m feeling wound up.

It’s a blend of spruce, chamomile, blue tansy, frankincense, ho wood, and osmanthus. It’s a great blend to bring grounding, promote relaxation, ease nerves, and increase relaxation.

 

If you are curious about these oils, you can purchase them directly from me here: www.mydoterra.com/nikkiweaver/#/

 

 

 

A Blessing for you-

May this month invite you the time to reflect as we move forward into this year. May, may, may. May you wish big wish and give with your heart, not with your eyes. Might this month give you permission to take a leap, to apologize, and to forgive yourself and those closest to you. May May move you to practice celebrating each day as a gift you have been given.

 

 

Two hands together,

 

Nikki

 
Vibrant Living:
A Women's Retreat in Italy
Co-led with Julie Jeske (pictured below)
September 7-14th, 2019
Lucca, Italy

Together, we will share conversations and movement on pleasure, presence, ancestry, moon cycles, vulnerability and humility, daily essential oil treatments
, creativity, wholistic living, practices for being grounded & heard, massage, learn from our stories,and practice reiki.
Julie is one of my favorite people to lead with, if you haven’t met her you should, and if you have you are probably better for her presence in your life.
On this retreat we will collect the beauties of Italy, shared with new friends as we cook together, yoga each morning inside the great hall or by the pool, explore local towns, swim, sip wine, taste olive oils, and enjoy art. We hope you can join us for this nourishing experience!
*LIMITED SPACE*
Register Here
Be Love/d: You are an Infinite Being
Co-led with Atieno Bird
October 11th-14th, 2019
Portland, OR

Are you ready to be loved, beloveds? Are you ready to be reminded that, as infinite beings, we can meet the challenges of our lives very adequately, and often even brilliantly? Are you ready to join a circle of women and see your divinity reflected in their eyes? Are you ready to be love?

Click Here for more info and to join us!
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