Celibacy isn't just about "not having sex." There's an aspect of celibacy that is more important to consider when discerning the priesthood or religious life: the inclination to natural fatherhood or motherhood.
Healthy men and women usually have a natural inclination to want children. They are, after all, one of God's greatest gifts, and a family can bring great joy to one's life. From the miracle of participating in the creation of life, to the education and formation of children, watching them grow and mature, fulfill their own vocations, and even potentially start their own families, natural fatherhood or motherhood can be a source of great happiness for the man or woman whom God calls to that vocation.
It's no wonder, then, that the sacrifice of foregoing natural fatherhood or motherhood might put many men and women off from considering a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. However, it would be a mistake for someone to avoid considering these vocations simply based on the fact that they have the desire to be a parent. It may well be that this inclination to fatherhood or motherhood can only really be fulfilled by having it be a
supernatural fatherhood or
supernatural motherhood!
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Priests and religious are fathers and mothers
to all people, and find great joy in their
spiritual families.
(photo © Stephen Golder)
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Consider what St. John Chrysostom says: "The priest is the common father of the whole world." You've probably heard this many times before: a priest's fatherhood is not limited to several natural children. Rather, his fatherhood encompasses every human soul. He is, in a very real way, the father of every soul he baptizes, every soul he cleanses in confession, who receives communion from his hands, whose marriage he witnesses, whom he confirms, whose broken or dying body he anoints, and (if a bishop) who receives holy orders from him. In effecting the rebirth of these people into the heavenly life, he is truly a father in a much more real way than he could ever be to some as a natural father!
Even apart from the sacraments, both priests and religious brothers and sisters become the embodiment of the care of the Church as spiritual fathers and spiritual mothers. They console, comfort, teach, and aid in countless ways, to so many, be they Catholic or not. To the superficial ear, it may sound like a platitude, but if we truly believe with the Church, we know that the priesthood is a very real fatherhood and the religious life is a very real motherhood.
While this may offer some intellectual consolation, what can it do for the heart which longs for the love of a natural family? Father John F. O'Neil offers this:
"Giving up the consolation of human love won for me a thousand loves more enduring than anything human. Giving up a home of my own has not made of me a selfish bachelor, but has expanded my powers of loving so that now, as a priest, I have a place in the hundreds of homes that are grouped around the altar where I say Mass."
Wanting to have a family is a natural and beautiful desire that God places in the hearts of most men and women. Just remember to be open to that fact that it could be a supernatural family He’s calling you to have, and trust that He’ll fulfill your desire for children as only He can.
