While growing up my Father often said to me
“You’re a Casella, and Casella’s don’t do that”. He was referring to how our words and actions create the identity of our name. In my hometown the 'Casella' family has a great reputation, now three generations deep.
Guy's, as Catholic men, we are given the responsibility to define what our (family) Name means for this generation. Because it is your name, as the husband and father, that your family is given. And, yes, the positive adjustments you make can have an impact three generations deep. So it is best that your family works to make it in life as a Man or Woman of God, not something else?
Men, we all make mistakes, and thus we need to example to our kids how to clean it up like spilled milk and move on. As the saying goes, 'the fastest way to success, is to replace bad habits with good habits'. Our job is to balance out what Mom says, because there is something about the voice of Dad that determines in our kids the image they see of themselves as a person and member of society ... and how they can see God as their Father.
Studies tell us that Dads determine the church habits of their children and thus to a significant degree their eternal destiny. According to one study, if a father doesnʼt go to church no matter how faithful the mother is, only one child in fifty will become regular church goers. And I might add that in our present culture our (adult) kids might
go to church online.
We see in the Book of Deuteronomy how important it is for fathers to pass on the Faith in a visible way. Teaching the commands of our Lord to them should be second nature to us:
“Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 11:19).
Many people believe the first role of a man, husband, and father is to provide and protect the family. However, our Catechism teaches our main role is to be a parent and to get our family to Heaven.
“The domestic church is a miniature community, united by blood and spiritual bonds … The family as a domestic church is the primary cell of the Christian community, because it possesses the three principal ministries of the Universal Church: sharing the Good News, praying, and witnessing with one’s life. This means that the parents are the first evangelizers and educators of their children. The family is a community of prayer, conversing with God in everyday life, and as it builds new relationships grounded in evangelical love, the family is called to become a school of social solidarity” (CUCC 654. 656).
In other words, a Father has the power to pass on blessings or curses to his wife and family. In order to be a blessing, though, we as men must first be open to receiving the blessings. Likewise, the reason I believe that God has his hands on America is that America from its founding has been Christian and pro-Israel.
Genesis 48:15-16 shows how blessing are spoken by Fathers:
15 Then he blessed them with these words:
“May the God in whose presence
my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,
The God who has been my shepherd
from my birth to this day,c
16 The angel who has delivered me from all harm,
bless these boys
That in them my name be recalled,
and the names of my fathers, Abraham and Isaac,
And they may become teeming multitudes
upon the earth!”
Husbands, we shape the image of our wife by what and how we speak to her. Daughters will marry someone who disrespects her because our actions as her Father (to her Mother) illustrate to her this is how life works. Likewise, when we speak positive encouragement to our daughters about who she is as a person and a women, it gives her more confidence to be more than just a pretty face to men. Men, it's important to speak to our kids about their future by painting for them a picture of success, from God's perspective.
The relationships of parents greatly affects the psyche of our kids. Kids need to see us men hold our wife and kiss her in appropriate ways. Likewise, our sons and daughters need to have from us hugs and meaningful touches of affection otherwise they view us as authoritative. Although roles can overlap, Moms do the nurturing, but it is Dad who provides respect and stability in our kids by setting the mission for the family, not always long conversations but, little snippets of (Godly) wisdom.
Guys! As the father and husband, and priest of our house, we are to example and speak to our family about identity and what it means to be a (insert your Last Name here) ___________. Commit to correcting their path, and be patient for them to follow, as God is with us. God uses the broken experiences of our lives to turn it into His glory, if we are open to letting Him.
Receive these blessings and pass it on. You only fail when you give up.
Find encouragement from 'Bishop Perry’s Virtues of a Catholic Man', download it here.
