The American male has long been characterized as the strong, silent type. A rugged individualist who does it his way relying on no one (not even God)! John Wayne, Gary Cooper and the Marlboro man all rolled into one. That’s what society tells us is a man’s man. But if we scratch under all our bravado, we get to core of the true man who longs to understand his own masculinity. In doing so we touch the real needs of men.
Dr. Robert Lewis, Founder of Men’s Fraternity (1990), has devoted his life to helping men identify, understand and address these needs. Here‘s a summary of his findings on the common needs of most men.
First, men need a safe place where they know someone understands them and they are not alone. If men feel welcome and understood, they will let their hair down and interact with other men over issues that may have been stuffed in their souls for years.
Second, men need a compelling vision of biblical masculinity that they can grasp. Men want to know what God intends for them. This vision will lift them during moments of challenge in the workplace and community or when they are facing discouragement in their own hearts.
Third, men need time to effectively process their manhood. That is why men’s ministry should be more than a periodic rally. Effective ministry to men must allow the opportunity for men to involve themselves with other men through interaction and rubbing shoulders with one another. (Small Men’s Spirituality Groups).
Fourth, men need practical how-to’s they can use and taste success with. The information on personal design, marriage, family, career and so on of men must connect with their day-to-day experience. If the teaching does not work in real life, men will start ignoring what you tell them.
Fifth, men need male cheerleaders. These can be special peers or older mentors who come along side to listen and offer encouragement.
Sixth, men need a sacred moment where they know they have become not just a man but a biblical man. Men need a reference point where they know they have crossed over into the promised land of responsible manhood and will stay there and grow.
Finally, men need the church. If the church and its pastors don’t lead men to reclaim a biblical manhood, most men will not pursue it with consistency, camaraderie, celebration, and courage.
Men, do these needs resonant with you?
CMCS is committed to responding to your spiritual needs through our annual or men’s forums throughout Vicariate VI.
Plan now to attend the next Bishop Perry Chicago Catholic Men's Forum on Saturday, April 26. 2025.
