As I reflect on the profound wisdom of Malachi 2:15, I am reminded of the struggles that many couples face, including my own journey through 35 years of marriage. There was a time several years ago when my wife and I found ourselves on the brink of divorce, caught in the whirlwind of anger, hurt, and uncertainty. It was a devastating period that tested our faith and commitment to one another. Yet, through perseverance and, more importantly, by the grace and mercy of God, we were able to navigate those turbulent waters and emerge stronger together. Our relationship has become since an even more constant work in progress, requiring dedication and understanding, a reminder that love is not merely a feeling but a lifelong commitment. The journey is ongoing, filled with its ups and downs, but it is one we continue to embrace, cherishing the bond we share and honoring our vows to each other.
As I engage in conversations with fellow Catholic men about the trials of marriage and the painful realities of divorce in today’s world, a troubling pattern emerges. It seems that marriage, a sacred covenant between a man and a woman, faces unprecedented challenges amid our culture’s shifting values. The decline in weddings, alongside the rising trend of cohabitation, reflects a deeper struggle against the very foundations of our faith. During the festive seasons, from Thanksgiving to New Year’s, the impact of divorce looms large, affecting our lives and relationships in profound ways, whether directly or indirectly. It’s a time when Satan appears to intensify his efforts, sowing confusion and distraction, pulling us away from the truths we hold dear. It’s crucial that we remain steadfast in our commitment to the sanctity of marriage and support one another in these challenging times, keeping our faith alive and nurturing the bonds that unite us.
If, however, you're seeking peace from experiencing separation or divorce consult Bishop Emeritus Joseph Perry's 'Prayer for a Broken Marriage'.
Avoiding Divorce
In the journey of love, the prospect of divorce often looms like a storm cloud, tempting couples with the promise of relief from their troubles. Yet, as Dr. Gary Chapman reveals in his insightful book, '
The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional,’ the reality is far more complex. Many who choose to part ways discover that their second or third marriages do not necessarily yield the happiness they seek. “The grass being greener on the other side of the fence is a myth,” Chapman wisely notes. This serves as a poignant reminder that divorce should be a last resort, not a quick exit. It’s essential for couples to first dig deep, confronting their differences and seeking resolution—because many have found that, with the right guidance and perseverance, reconciliation is not just possible, but transformative. As we navigate the intricate weave of relationships, let’s hold on to the hope that love can be rekindled, even when times are tough.
Guys have Hope!
Imagine navigating the rocky waters of a relationship, only to discover that the key to sailing smoothly lies within you. With the right information and proper support, you can become a positive change agent in your relationship. Take a moment to reflect on God's wisdom: guard your heart, remain faithful to your spouse, and seek help when needed. The path toward divorce is often filled with pain and difficulty. Healing isn't a race; it's a journey that unfolds in God's time.
In my own experience with near divorce, I realized the transformative power of perspective. Dr. Ray Guarendi, in his insightful book ‘
Marriage: Small Steps, Big Rewards’, reminds us,
“You can’t change your spouse’s behavior and attitude. But you can change yours.” This wisdom inspired me to approach my interactions differently. For instance, by taking a few moments of steering clear of heated discussions, we began to foster a healthier environment. A spiritual director shared with me that it is better to offer forgiveness, than to seek apology. Embrace the journey of change, and you just might find a way to heal together.
Speaking from experience, it is difficult for a man to make himself vulnerable, a husband’s greatest treasure is his wife’s heart.
When I went through my near divorce experience I found there was very little online about men and divorce, as much as there was for women. So I decided then to do something about it by writing more articles – and this is one of them. |
