“Because that would make people think of She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

“Enough with the Sarah Pa—”

“STOP! Don’t speak of You-Know-Who! It’s not safe for muggles or wizards alike!”

My wife gives me that look.

You know the one.

It conveys more than Mavis Beacon could type in 10 minutes after 3 shots of espresso. It says:

“Really?… Are you seriously going to trot out some Harry Potter joke when I’m actually inquiring about your passion for all things Apple? Have you honestly forgotten all of those evenings I listened tirelessly to you run on about logic board failures, PRAM and SMC resets, and the latest annoying “feature” Apple suddenly changed and didn’t bother to ask you about first? And now, as I fearlessly confront my dread of another Apple filibuster from you, and am actually asking about your Mac world. And you’re going to make a joke?”

Magic 8-ball indicates I should cut to the chase.

“They named it after a beach.”

“A beach?”

“There’s a surfing beach up north called ‘Mavericks.’”

“And?”

“Yeah, I know. Doesn’t explain much, does it? Sounds plural and inappropriate for ‘an’ operating system. Plus, you always think ‘beach’ when you think ‘computers,’ right? All the things computers love in one place: water, sand, salt and wind. Brought to you by: The Beach.”

“They were all out of big cats?”

“They were getting there. They’d already used Cheetah, Puma, Jaguar, Panther, Tiger, Leopard, Snow Leopard, Lion, and Mountain Lion. All to be followed by Mavericks! Makes sense, right?”

“Ocelot?”

“Inside information suggests it was discarded. Apparently the educational level in America was so low consumers thought it was the magical kingdom of King Arthur.”

“Seriously? Okay, what about Cougar?”

“They should name it after an older woman seeking a younger man?”

“Hmm, point taken… Lynx?”

“And that’s where I totally agree with you! They could have made the ‘X’ uppercase, as in OS X, and system 10.9 LynX could have finished out the big cats and moved onto dogs for 11.0.”

“Not sure an OS named after a dog has the same ‘je ne sais quoi,’” she said.

“Well,… funny you should mention that. ‘Mavericks,’ the surfing beach, was actually named after a white German Shepard who used to swim out to be with the surfers. Apple has dumped all the big cats for a DOG!”

“It brings me no comfort to know you know this.”

“Jobs would never have let this slip by!  Hmm… Maybe Tim Cook chose a California beach due to the heat Apple’s getting for making everything in China. Do you think the plan is to create a more American image?”

“One wonders if birds of prey were ever discussed,” she says.

“OS XI Bald Eagle. Made in America. I like it! I’m calling my contacts at Apple right now.”

“You don’t have any contacts at Apple.”

“That’s beside the point. They’re going to love this. After Bald Eagle, they could go: Hawk, Falcon, Osprey, Owl, Vulture, Raptor, Kite, Condor, HippoGriff, Griffin…”

“Enough with the Harry Potter!”

“Okay, okay. Anyway, for now, it looks like the wizards at Apple have gone surfing. At least Rincon is singular.”

She sighs and walks away.  I'm fairly certain I've exhausted her interest in the topic.

At Mick’s Macs, we’re totally stoked to slot you into the gnarly Mavericks pipeline, whether you’re a grey belly or a HoDad. We promise to help you minimize the dings, washing machines, and wipe outs in computing, and help you spend more time in the pocket on some seriously sick party waves.

Oh, and we promise to never to call you, “Dude.”

All the best,

MickDoggie