Ole Knows Everybody! (Thank you Amy Schmidt)

Ole was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone der is to know. Yust name someone, anyone, and I know dem."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Ole how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I arr very old friends, and I can prove it." Ole and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Ole! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Ole's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Ole that he thinks Ole's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, yust name anyvon else," Ole says.

''President Trump," his boss quickly retorts.

"Ya sure," Ole says, "I know him." Ve'll fly out to Vashington to see him."

So off they go. At the White House, President Trump spots Ole on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Ole, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

The boss is shaken now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Ole, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Ole. "I've known da Pope a long time." The unconvinced boss flies them off to Rome. Ole and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Ole says, "Dis vill never vork. I can't catch da Pope's eye among all dese people. Tell you vat, I know da guards so let me yust go upstairs and I'll come out on da balcony wid da Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Fifteen minutes later Ole emerges with the Pope on the balcony. By the time Ole returns, his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss's side, Ole asks him, "Vat happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, 'Who's that on the balcony with Ole?’”